


Wings Heist: The Interview

by lirin



Series: Wings Heist [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6298222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lirin/pseuds/lirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Steve Rogers kind of sort of gets persecuted by an evil vizier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wings Heist: The Interview

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ama/gifts).



Milton Fairburn was not a garbage man. No, he was a sanitation consultant at Fort Meade Waste Management and Removal, which had multiple contracts in the state of Maryland, including at Fort Meade itself. In other words, Fairburn was a rather important man, and his time was equally important. If he was going to have to squander his time in a job interview, he wanted it to at least be with someone who realized the honor he was granting them, not this young upstart he was currently glaring at.

“I really don’t think your qualifications are sufficient for this position, Mr. Stevens,” he said. “Your resume says here that you didn’t graduate college.”

“I can assure you, even though I didn’t go to college I’m pretty good at throwing things and lifting heavy objects and...ah…I can operate heavy machinery,” his interviewee returned.

“Young man, you seriously underestimate the caliber of this position,” Fairburn said. “It requires integrity and the ability to multitask effectively. Not that a college dropout like you would understand.”

The interviewee looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I can assure you I have integrity,” he said. (Unbeknownst to Fairburn, a voice in the interviewee’s ear commented, _“Yeah, says the guy holding a completely made-up resume.”_ Another voice pointed out, _“Hey, it’s not all made up. We kept the fact that he didn’t go to college, and his name’s kind of the same.”_ ) “And I can keep track of multiple tasks happening simultaneously and I’m even pretty good at understanding multiple people talking at the same time, although that can get a bit _annoying_ sometimes.” 

Fairburn was unimpressed. “College is a noble undertaking and an important ingredient in the formation of any young person’s life. Without it, one is stunted and incomplete. In addition to the connections one gains from meeting people, one is educated in all sorts of things, from historical facts to problem-solving. I simply cannot employ someone who did not make college a priority.”

Stevens whacked himself on the ear, apparently cowed by Fairburn’s invective. (Either that, or he was just trying to silence such helpful commentary as _“What part of ‘rock this interview’ did you not understand?”_ and _“I told you we should have said he attended college.”_ ) “The job requirements didn’t say anything about a college degree.”

Fairburn stood up. He hoped it would indicate that this interview was definitively over. “Nevertheless, I cannot hire you without one. I am one of the top people at this company, so what I say goes. Thank you for coming and have a nice day.”

Stevens followed him to the door. “It’s pretty impressive, that your company works so many places around here, even in important government buildings. You must be really trusted.”

“Indeed I am,” Fairburn said, interpreting this comment as referring to him and not his company as a whole. He pulled out a laminated card. “See this? I go to Fort Meade so often that I have my own badge. That’s me, Milton Fairburn.”

“Wow,” Stevens said. He held out a hand. “Can I see it? That’s very impressive.”

Fairburn started to hand it to him, then drew it back abruptly. “I wish I could, but government security and all that. You’ve taken enough of my time anyway. Come back when you’ve graduated college.”

***

Steve Rogers walked out the front door of Fort Meade Waste Management and Removal. He looked glum.

A block away, Sam and Natasha wandered casually up to him. “Did you get it?” Sam asked him.

Steve shook his head. “Nope. Apparently, only college graduates are capable of emptying trash cans around here.”

“Not the job, the ID! Did you get a photo?”

“Oh, that. I got half a dozen, so we should be all set.”

**Author's Note:**

> Image credits:  
> Background image from [Flazingo](http://www.flazingo.com).  
> Character image from [KissThemGoodbye screencaps](http://kissthemgoodbye.net/movie/thumbnails.php?album=151).


End file.
